Friday, May 10, 2013

Weaning Bean's mom

I swore that when I had kids I would never let them do a whole list of things that I thought other parents were out of their minds for allowing their kids to do. At the top of this list was letting your baby/toddler/8 year old sleep in your bed. I've lectured parents about how horrible this behavior is, preached about the importance of children learning independence, and so on and so forth. Let me tell you, Guru Danielle hasn't even had permission to visit my house since I've given birth! I get it now. Once you become a parent you sleep when you can and where you can. If that means little Joey or little Susy is sleeping on top of you, next to you, in your bed, on the couch or the whole family is cuddled up on the dog's bed, then guess what, that's just fine! They call breast milk gold, but sleep, sleep is like a bucket full of diamonds! Get it how you can, however you can.

Now, I haven't totally gone back on all of my "When I have kids, I'm never going to..." I mean, on a technicality I never let her sleep in my bed, my marriage bed that is. Instead, I put a bed in her room and we sleep there :) I've slept in her room with her since we brought her home from the hospital. The first couple of weeks, she even slept in the bed with me, but would sleep in her crib for naps and initially at bedtime, but as soon as she'd wake up I'd stick her in bed with me! Honestly, I think it comforted me as much as it did her. I liked knowing that she was right there, I could stare at her, obsessively check to make sure she was still breathing,  and of course, we got to have some really good snuggle time.

Well, last night I decided it was time for me to move back to my bedroom. (I've been deciding this every night for the last three weeks.) I finally made the move...checked the baby, got in my pajamas, checked the baby, got a glass of water, looked at the baby, brought my pillow back to my own bed, stared at the baby, started thinking I was crazy and stupid for even thinking I could sleep in my own bed in my own room, stared longer at the baby...she was sleeping so soundly and she was going to stay sleeping, thought about how uncomfortable the bed in her room is, looked at the bed, looked at the baby, went into my room!!, went and checked on the baby, double checked the baby monitor in her room and in our room, did several tests with the help of my husband to make sure I could hear her when she woke up, kissed my husband good night, kissed my sleeping bean good night, and went to bed...IN MY OWN BED! This was a big step for me. I'm pretty sure she didn't even notice that I wasn't sleeping three feet away from her crib. I noticed, but only because every coo and binky suck didn't wake me up! I slept 5  whole hours in a row before she woke up to nurse and then she went back to sleep so I was able to go back to sleep to...for another 2 1/2 hours!! I got 7 1/2 hours of ONE NIGHT! This is a miracle! Why didn't I think about moving back to my own bed sooner? I know why, I wasn't ready.

Sometimes it's really hard being a mom. You're afraid of everything, even sleeping in your own bed in your own room.

Did any of you co-sleep? I'd love to hear your stories too! The good, the bad, and the ugly, sharing is nice ;)

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